lost art...

Geez, why even write on here? Honestly, I wouldn't want anyone I know or care about to read this stuff anyhow. My words are raw and perhaps a bit too honest...
It's been a long time, my friend. I speak to no-one, but writing has always been a friend and receiving of me. I don't write nearly as I did in my youth, I guess it's an art form that dies when not used. Kind of like drawing. Or conversation. Thinking. Yes, the brain grows weak and adapts to the environment and company it is immersed with. That being said, being surrounded by idiots (liberals, hoosiers, ect) causes seemingly irreparable brain function loss.
Ok, not all Hoosiers are idiots. 50% are idiots. 40% are ignorant and so poorly educated that I feel the need to dumb myself down to converse. 9% are kind, adventurous, and interesting-- unfortunately, they have all either left the state or are in the process of doing just that. That leaves the remaining 1% of Hoosiers that I have not met. I don't know where they are or how to find them. Maybe they are poor, misplaced souls like myself who live draped over their AC in the home and their dog is the best company they've got.
If you can't tell, I hate Indiana. In 10 years, you can ask me where all I've lived and I'll list the states off... Washington, Oregon, Texas, Tennessee, Kentucky, and heck, I'll even say Iraq. I'd prefer to not recall Indiana and the (hopefully only a) few years wasted of my life in the wretched state.
Ok, I'm not an entirely miserable person. My life has actually improved some within the past year. I've had to fight every inch of better I've obtained, it hasn't been easy.
Kenny has improved allot. Health wise, that is. Still some PTSD, but hey, we can actually go to Walmart now without me wondering if I'll have to abandon the cart and spend the night in the ER with the poor boy. Sitting in church is still difficult, it's hard enough for myself much for Kenny. I don't care for malls, and he hasn't stepped foot in one since he's been home.
I am now pursuing a degree in art, which oddly enough was a default to social work. Don't get me wrong, my grades were just fine in social work... I just didn't have the interest anymore.
My health has deteriorated quite a bit since living in Indiana. The arthritis in my knees is worse. (the constant click-click-POP!) of my knees drives me insane. The pain is pretty intense as well. Thankfully, the nights where I wake up from my sleep crying and screaming from the pain is not often anymore.
I just pray that the Lord will heal me of this arthritis... I can live with Chrons, but I need my joints and every limb. I have many mountains yet to hike, and beaches to run. God knows the Pacific Northwest is one of my greatest joys... I need my health.
The Lord has blessed me. Through trial and error, I finally see a light at the end of this journey that pretty much began in 2003, when I joined the military. I just wait for the day I can pack my stuff, dog, ferrets, husband, and head back to my home. Own a home, maybe with a little property... and start a family near my family. Not too much to ask, right? Seems hard enough right now.
So, as the early morning closes in on 0320, I will end this. Not for anyone, but for myself. Home is sweet, despite sleeping on the futon and this AC lacking house. The sweet pine-scented air, salt-tinted ocean breeze, and the love of my family breathes life into this weary soul.